Keep in mind that an unhealthy relationship isn’t worth salvaging. [3] X Expert Source Michele FieldsMatchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 August 2021. If your ex made you feel unsafe and didn’t respect you, it’s better leave them behind. [4] X Research source It can also help talk about it with a friend or family member you trust. They can help you take an honest look at the relationship—the good and the bad parts.
You and your ex may have different perspectives about your relationship problems, so listen carefully to one another. If your partner broke up with you, try to put yourself in their shoes to understand why they ended the relationship. Remind them of the good things about the relationship and keep in touch. [7] X Expert Source Michele FieldsMatchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.
“I’m sorry I was late for so many dates. I always got carried away at work, and as a result, I made you feel undervalued. I felt like I had something to prove in my career, but now I understand that being there for you is more important. " An apology can absolutely help mend a relationship—just be sure to put your words into action.
Forgiveness isn’t easy, but ultimately it’s the healthiest choice for you. Resentment can impact your mental health if it goes unaddressed. Your decision to forgive (or not) is deeply personal and should not be made under pressure from your ex. Make your decision freely and in your own time.
Be flexible and open to change. Both of you will probably request certain ground rules, so do your best to either agree or compromise. Whatever you do, don’t play games. Be serious about repairing the relationship. [11] X Expert Source Michele FieldsMatchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.
If you say you’re going to call your partner at 7 PM, make sure you do it. No matter how small the promise is, stick to your word. Make sure that you both feel like you’re part of the same team. There are no “sides in a relationship,” just you and your partner working together for a bright future.
Express your needs to your partner. Don’t make them guess. Send positive nonverbal cues when you talk (make eye contact, lean forward, and touch their hand, etc. ). Make gratitude a habit. When your partner does something that you appreciate, tell them so. [14] X Research source
A good “I” statement is, “I feel lonely when you go out with friends and don’t invite me. " It focuses on your feelings, whereas an accusation like, “You never want to spend time with me!” causes more conflict. Remember that “winning” isn’t your goal; instead, aim to meet halfway so that both of your needs are met. Arguments are a totally normal part of relationships. As you enter a renewed relationship, look at conflict as a way to grow together and strengthen your bond.
Don’t underestimate the importance of holding your partner’s hand or hugging them when they have a bad day. Sex is important for many couples, but it shouldn’t be the only physical intimacy you share. Communication also builds intimacy, which is why it’s so important to share your needs and preferences with your partner.
Learn from the past so you can stop thinking about it. Live in the moment by concentrating on yourself and the people around you. Try to relax and enjoy yourself instead of worrying about old problems.
Hold off on getting serious too quickly. Give yourself time to rebuild the relationship. If you lived together before your split, getting back together doesn’t mean you should merge households right away.
Couples’ therapy can also benefit you and your ex. If you both have the means, ask your ex if they can commit to sessions with a relationship counselor.
