Your ability to multi-task may be great for getting things done at work and around your home, but it won’t make you a better listener! Catch yourself when your mind starts wandering off. [2] X Expert Source Hilya Tehrani, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
For instance, while the other person is talking to you, when they make a point, you could say, “Gotcha. ” Focusing on what they’re saying in order to respond or react can help you pay attention.
For instance, if a teacher is explaining a concept, try visualizing it in your mind. If your friend is telling you about their day, imagine it in your mind as they talk about it. Make sure to visualize and listen, though—you don’t want to start daydreaming!
You can also try explaining to people that fidgeting actually helps you pay attention so they’ll understand and you don’t have to keep it hidden. Other simple forms of fidgeting include drumming your fingers or doodling while you’re on a phone call or listening to a lecture. Similarly, taking up a physical activity that incorporates mindfulness (like martial arts or yoga) might help you improve your focus. [7] X Expert Source Hilya Tehrani, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
Plus, just by being a better listener and paying attention to the person you’re talking to when they’re speaking, you’ll actually be better prepared to respond to them. Bring your mind back to the conversation if you catch yourself thinking way ahead. [9] X Expert Source Hilya Tehrani, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
Not only is it rude to interrupt someone when they’re speaking, it can actually make it harder for you to pay attention to what they’re saying. If you need to interrupt, you could ask, “Excuse me, can I ask a quick question?”
If someone says, “After we finish getting groceries, we’ll stop by Tim’s to drop off the food, then we’ll swing by the dog park for a bit” you could say, “Okay, groceries, Tim’s, dog park. Got it. ”
For instance, if your manager gives you a list of things to do before you get off work, you could say, “Okay, empty the garbage, adjust the thermostat, and turn off all the lights. Got it. ” They can also correct or clarify something if you aren’t fully understanding them.
You could try, “So sorry, I’m a bit lost. Can you tell me what the main points were?” You could also try to keep it casual with something like, “I’m having a little trouble keeping up. Can you give me the summary?”
If you’re able to, recording a conversation, class, or lecture can be really helpful. Use a recording app and replay it as many times as you need! Just make sure you get permission or ask if it’s okay first. [15] X Research source
If you’re busy trying to come up with words of advice while someone is talking, you probably aren’t giving them your full attention.
For instance, you could have your friend tell you about a restaurant they went to recently. They can talk about everything they did while they were there, what they ate, and what they thought about the experience. When they’re finished, you can give a recap of the story to see how well you were paying attention. The more you practice listening, the better you’ll be. In time, you can become a master listener!
