Mirror his behavior. For instance, if he’s leaning forward to talk to you, draw in close. Lightly touch his arm while you’re talking. Make eye contact for a few seconds before looking away.
For example, instead of saying, “Hey, I like your car,” say, “I really like that you take so much pride in taking care of your car. " Or instead of saying, “You’re really handsome,” say, “I love your sense of style. "
Being close can reduce his anxiety, so he feels more comfortable talking with you. The more comfortable he is, the more likely he is to pursue you.
For instance, lean in really close and whisper a personal question like, “What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?” Then, sit back and just wait for his response. Tell a slightly revealing anecdote like, “You’ll never believe what a guy said to me the last time I was at this bar. " Lean in and then say, “Well, actually I’m not sure if I should tell you. . . " If you’re at a club or in an intimate setting, get close to him and whisper in his ear. You don’t even have to say something sexy—just being that close can feel really personal.
For instance, if you’re at the same party or club, make a point of moving around the room and talking with people—act bold and outgoing. Then, say hi to him, but don’t spend all your time trying to have a conversation with the guy. If you’re chatting with him, say something like, “Am I in a relationship? I don’t think you could handle being in a relationship with me—most guys can’t hack it. " You could say something like, “After my last relationship, I told myself I’d only date guys that could handle me—I’m still looking. "
You don’t need to call or text him to tell him what you’ve been up to—just post pictures or updates on your social media for him to see.
Let him know that you’re seeing other people but don’t go out with others just to make the emotionally unavailable guy jealous. See other guys because you truly want to.
Keep in mind that you should only be in relationships that feel good. If you feel like you’re always compromising or giving up on things that are important to you, think about if you really want to be with him.
For example, don’t always be the one to set up dates. Try alternating, so he reaches out as much as you do. Or, you might wait to message him until he texts you to see how your week is going.
While you might hope that he eventually connects emotionally, it’s best to appreciate him for who is now without trying to change him. It’s completely acceptable to establish personal boundaries to protect yourself from getting hurt. For instance, you might tell him that you enjoy dating, but that you won’t make the relationship physical.
Instead of sending him a text explaining how much you love him or how important he is to you, send him a quick text where you do something thoughtful. For instance, text him, “In the mood for your favorite takeout? My treat. " For example, instead of calling and asking him two or three times to go out to a concert with you, send him a single text that’s really laid back like, “Concert this weekend? Let me know. "
He introduces you to friends or family. He tells you he misses you. He calls or texts more often. He makes time for you and asks you out more. He starts talking about the future with you.
Be honest and straightforward: “It seems like you need to be on your own for a while and figure out what you want. I want you to be happy. I hope that I’m here when you’re ready, but I need to be with someone who’s completely in. " Remind yourself that you’re an amazing person. Not only will this make you feel better, but a happy, carefree attitude can be really attractive. It may make him miss you even more!
