It’s normal to feel hatred toward your ex after a breakup, but anger can often be self-destructive. Ask yourself why you’re feeling angry and reflect on the reasons you’re feeling that way. Exploring and acknowledging your feelings can help you move on from them.
Rather than running back to your ex, honor their decision no matter how much it hurts. Move on from your ex only when you’re ready. There’s no need to rush your emotions, but try to start accepting that your relationship is over. [4] X Research source
Observe whatever emotion you’re feeling, whether that be anger, sadness, or despair, and reflect on why you may be feeling that way. Practice mindfulness and meditation. Focusing on breathing and clearing your mind can help you work through hateful feelings. Relax your jaw, shoulders, and neck when you feel a wave of grief or hatred. This can help ease building tension.
Identify and acknowledge your feelings rather than fighting them. Journal your feelings as a way to sort through conflicting emotions and reflect on why you’re feeling the way you are. Recognize if you’re feeling depressed. After a break up, each day will feel different, but you’ll soon start to feel better. If the sadness doesn’t lift, you may be depressed. Talk to a counselor or therapist for extra support if those blue feelings don’t fade.
Try not to focus on talking about your ex but rather what you’re feeling.
Let the hate you have for your ex right now fuel your want to be better, stronger, and wiser.
Think of moving forward as a way of not staying stuck in one place. When you start to dwell on the past, focus on what’s to come. Is a new episode of your favorite show coming out this week? Do you have new classes coming up? If something isn’t working for you, reframe your thinking to help you move forward. Instead of “I must think harder and faster,” think, “I must find a new strategy that works for me at this moment. ”
Spend time with people who won’t judge or criticize you. You should feel comforted by your support group. [11] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 10 September 2021.
Be gentle with yourself when first starting a new routine. Put aside major decisions or life changes for the first few months after a breakup to give yourself time to get back into the groove without any added pressures.
If you love crafting, start up a new project. Paint by numbers and diamond art can be great stress relieving projects to explore. If you love movies, catch up on your favorite flicks. Watch childhood favorites or feel-good movies that’ll make you smile. If you love music, go to a concert and sing your heart out. Bring some friends with you, let loose, and have a great time.
Channel your anger by trying activities that’ll help release your frustrations. Give karaoke, dancing, running, or painting a try. [15] X Research source
Add a few extra veggies to your dinner plate, but don’t punish yourself by skipping dessert. Aim to get 7 to 10 hours of sleep a night to wake up feeling refreshed. [17] X Research source Try going for a morning walk to start the day off with some warm sunshine.
Belly breathing: Lie back in a comfortable position with one hand on your belly and the other on your heart. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus on making the hand on your belly rise with each inhale and lower with each exhale. Repeat 3 to 10 times. 4-7-8 breathing: Count to 4 as you slowly breathe in, and hold that breath while counting from 1 to 7. Exhale for a new count of 8, trying to get all the air out by the time you reach 8. Repeat 3 to 7 times.
If talking to a licensed professional in-person isn’t an option, online therapy services like BetterHelp and TalkSpace can help you get the care you need without leaving the house.
