For example, you could give your co-worker a chance to explain a hurtful comment they made instead of assuming the worst. Hiring a mediator can be a great way to deal with really tough conflicts. They can approach the conversation from a neutral point of view, and help both sides understand one another.

You want Julia to submit her overdue assignment, but you need her to get it to you by Friday so you can go over it during the weekend. You want Todd to apologize for what he said about you, but you need him to stop gossiping so much in the workplace.

“I know we haven’t seen eye-to-eye lately. Would you be okay with meeting in the conference room so we can talk things out?” “I don’t feel great about how our last conversation went. Do you think we could discuss things in private so we can reach a resolution?” Pick a calm, neutral place where you both can talk comfortably and openly, like an office conference room. [5] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 6 September 2018.

Try keeping your body language neutral if you’re having trouble staying calm. For example, you might avoid gritting your teeth and turning away when the other person starts to talk.

“I hear what you’re saying, but I just want to make sure I understand. You’re upset about my presentation at last week’s meeting because you felt blindsided by the announcement I made. ” “Let me confirm that I know where you’re coming from. You’re angry about my Facebook post because you felt that I was calling you out. ” “Are you upset that I was late, or that I didn’t text you beforehand?”

“I felt hurt when you took credit for my work during the team meeting. ” “I feel like my time isn’t as valuable as yours when you show up late. ” “I feel stressed and upset when you talk to me in that tone of voice. ”

“I know we haven’t always seen eye-to-eye in the past, but I’d really like us to focus on what happened last Thursday. ” “Full disclosure: I know things were a little rocky between us in the past, but I’d really like to resolve the problem at hand. ”

“I know I messed up the numbers for the party budget, but you know what they say. There are 3 types of people out there: those who can’t count, and those who can. ” “I’m really sorry for grabbing your lunch by mistake. On the bright side, at least you got to enjoy an extremely mediocre peanut butter and jelly sandwich. ”

“I’m really sorry for going over your head in that email chain. I feel terrible about how things played out, and I didn’t mean for you to feel ignored or left out. In the future, I’ll be sure to CC you on emails like that. ” “I’m so sorry for making that hurtful joke the other day. There’s no excuse for what I said, and I feel awful for making you feel uncomfortable. I’ll definitely tone down my jokes in the future. ”

For example, a co-worker might spend 5 extra minutes on their break than what’s allowed by the company. You could bring this up to a manager, but it’s probably easier to just let it go. Avoidance is one of the 5 conflict resolution strategies, also known as the Thomas-Kilmann model. Accommodation, compromise, collaboration, and competition are the other 4 strategies. [19] X Research source

Give up your usual parking space to another employee Offer to switch seats with someone Switch shifts with a co-worker

Offer to cover your employee’s shift for Thanksgiving if he covers yours for Christmas Set the thermostat to a moderate temperature if you or an employee like the workspace especially hot or cold.

Creating sign-up slots for the conference room so people aren’t fighting about who can use it and when Giving employees an extra half hour of daily break time during an especially stressful week

Competing against a rival company to scout an employee is a healthy example of competition-style conflict resolution.