Skipping out on your days when you’re supposed to take your children. Eschewing child support payments when you have the ability to pay them. Dropping your children off unexpectedly when you’re the custodial parent. Refusing to abide with other court orders (like probation, or therapy).

This is really only a good idea if you are on good terms with your ex and your request is reasonable. An agreed-upon change is referred to as an “uncontested” modification. Neither you nor your ex-partner will need to appear in front of a judge to make one of these changes. [3] X Research source

You can also contact the Department of Revenue Child Support Enforcement Division where you live to ask questions. They’ll typically walk you through any sections on the application. [6] X Research source There are often pro-bono law offices that will offer help with applications to modify child support. [7] X Trustworthy Source United States Department of Justice Official website of the U. S. Department of Justice Go to source A lawyer will be able to spot clerical errors or mistakes on your application to modify your child support, which can cause it to be thrown out by a judge.

You can normally print these forms at home and then file them at the courthouse, but you may be able to do it online depending on where you live. In some states, your application can be reviewed by a judge without you or your ex-partner being there. In some states though, you have to see a judge in-person. Once you file, wait to hear from the court regarding where you’ll need to show up and when. [9] X Research source

A dramatic increase or decrease in income. Extraordinary medical expenses or legal fees. An increase or decrease in expenses for your child. Your child turns 18, or you get back together with your ex. A major life event that dramatically changes your circumstances.

Inflation is causing the buying power of the dollar to decrease, but your wages haven’t increased alongside inflation. The cost of goods is increasing, and you’re unable to pay the current child support costs without being evicted. Your ex-partner has moved closer to where you live, so you should pay less in child support since you can help out in more material ways. Our culture has changed, and there’s enough research to indicate that children suffer more from not spending an equal amount of time with both parents.

There are typically separate court forms that go along with your application for a modification. You may need to file these forms alongside the application, or present them at court to the judge depending on where you live.

If your hours are cut at work, you could argue that it’s a good reason for you to get your child more often, since you’ll have more free time to spend with them. If you incur a big hospital bill, you could argue that your child support payments should be paused, since it won’t be good for your child to have an unhealthy or disabled parent who needs to pay for treatment. If you finally get a job after months of looking, you could argue that you deserve joint-custody, since you’re able to afford everything your child needs in your home. This is why it’s so hard to reduce child support payments. It’s very difficult to justify you paying less for your child’s care—even if you lose your job and it becomes harder to keep up. In the meantime, continue to pay as much as you can towards the balance. [14] X Research source

Most city and county courts have a court assistance office, but you may need to reach out to the state attorney general if they don’t. You can typically find this process explained step-by-step on your county or state’s family courts page. [16] X Research source

If you don’t have a lawyer, now is the time to reach out to a pro-bono family court organization. Unlike criminal cases, you will not be able to utilize a public defender for a child custody case, and it will really help your odds if you have a lawyer on your side for this. In most states, your ex will have a period of time (usually 21 days) to respond to the request for a modification. If they don’t respond, a judge may automatically rule in your favor and you may not need to go to court.

This way, you’ll look and feel your best when it’s time for you and your ex to step out in front of the judge. From this point on, all you can do is plead your case and hope for the best. You’ve done everything you should do up to this moment, so don’t be too hard on yourself if it doesn’t go your way. It’s in the judge’s hands now.

You’re the one who wants something changed, so it’s going to be on you to demonstrate why it’s a good idea. [20] X Research source Your lawyer may be able to plead your case on your behalf, but the judge may still call on you to explain. You might say something like, “Your honor, I have incurred a series of medical expenses that make it impossible for me to keep up with current child support payments. I do want to pay to support my child, but I don’t think it will benefit them if their father/mother is too sick to pick them up or care for them. This is why I’m requesting a temporary suspension to my child support payments. ”

For example, if you’re seeking a $300 deduction in monthly child support and the judge asks if you’d be okay with $150, agree if you can. If you can’t, say something like, “I’d love to your honor, I really would. Unfortunately, my hours have been cut at work and I’m unable to pay my rent and child support without at least a $200 deduction. ”

You can try reaching out to your ex after the modification hearing is over to see if they’d be willing to sit down and come to an alternative modification. If they are, you’ll be able to file an uncontested modification. You can always try again whenever your next major life change occurs. Try not to get too down about it.