Make sure most of the interactions you have with your children are positive and loving. Strive to show affection daily. If you have a baby, affection may simply involve holding your infant regularly or speaking reassuringly.
If you’re dealing with a baby or toddler, one-on-one time might include getting down on the floor and playing with them. For an older child, try doing a hobby with them, like baking, hiking, or doing arts and crafts.
If your teenager has joined a band, give some positive feedback about the songs they write. If your preteen is obsessed with space, buy them books or take them on a trip to the planetarium.
Try to avoid criticizing or blaming your child for their mistakes. Instead, focus on what they can do better next time.
Make rules clear and concise but with a positive spin, like “Everyone should walk indoors” instead of “No running in the house!” Depending on the age of your children, you might have an open discussion with them to decide on fair rules and consequences together. You might start trying to do this once your child is able to work out for themselves some consequences to misbehavior.
Disciplining your children for rule-breaking doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean. Criticize the behavior rather than the child. This might sound like, “Isaiah, what should you do instead of pushing Charlie? Because you pushed, you’ll have to wait 5 more minutes before taking a turn to show how patient you can be. ” Make sure the consequences feel logical. For example, if your child watches too much TV and didn’t finish their homework, consider limiting their screen time.
This also includes modeling things like being a hard worker and not using drugs or alcohol.
For instance, if you accidentally compare one kid to another, acknowledge that it was wrong by saying, “Jeff, I want to apologize to you. I compared you to your brother yesterday and I shouldn’t have. Each of you is special with your own qualities. Will you please forgive me?”
This might sound like, “Sweetie, I haven’t slept well in days. Do you mind putting the kids to bed tonight so I can turn in early?” If you don’t have a co-parent, that’s okay. Try to lean on your support system, like a good friend or family member, for help.
Use teachable moments when you and your spouse disagree (on lighter matters) to show your kids how to work through conflicts.
Being stressed out affects your children, so carve out time for self-care daily. This might be unwinding with a long soak and a book each evening, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the kids rise every morning. Just remember to take care of you! Don’t be afraid to tell your children that you’re taking some time to yourself. Explain self-care to them and ask them what they do for self-care. This will build a healthy habit in your children.
Meditation and yoga can also help you lower your stress levels throughout the day.
Meet the moms of your kids’ friends at school, at church, or on the playground to make new friends. It’s equally important to connect with others as a human being, not only as a mom! Hang out with friends, go on dates, and cherish your familial relationships, too.
