Fear of judgment Intrusive thoughts Low self-esteem Dread before socializing with others Intense loneliness Trouble making eye contact with others Shortness of breath in social situations Panic attacks Nausea and vomiting Tension in your muscles
Negative thoughts might include things like “No one cares what I have to say” or “Everyone here is cooler than me. " Replace thoughts like that with more uplifting ones. Try, “I have a unique perspective that people appreciate” or “I’m a really cool person, too. " It may feel silly at first, but positive thinking can really help you feel better and make connections in the long run.
Making eye contact and smiling at a stranger Asking a coworker a question about themselves Complimenting an acquaintance on their outfit, music taste, expertise, etc. Making conversation with coworkers before a meeting starts or while you’re eating lunch in the breakroom
If you’re not sure what you’re passionate about, consider what makes you happy. Do you love watching new movies? Check out a film class! Really into comics? Look into the events at your local comic book shop. It’s totally normal if you’re feeling nervous to join in on a new activity or class. Try to remember that everyone else is probably feeling that way too, especially if you’ve chosen an activity that other introverts gravitate towards.
“It’s been so fun getting to know you. What’s your phone number? I’d love to hang sometime!” “Hey, do you have Instagram? I’d love to send you a link to that art account we were talking about earlier. "
Try to keep an open mind about new people when first making friends. You might think you don’t have anything in common with someone, but they may surprise you once you get to know them. If you’re not feeling it or start to get super anxious during the hangout, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay to politely excuse yourself and thank them for their company. Congratulate yourself for making progress and keep trying!
For example, ask a coworker you frequently chat with if they want to get lunch together. You might say, “Hey, I’ve been meaning to check out that sandwich shop down the street. Wanna grab lunch with me sometime this week?”
Resist the urge to pretend to be someone that you’re not when you’re meeting new people. You’ll attract more likeminded people if you’re honest about your interests, hobbies, and the way you spend your time.
If you like horror movies, try a weekly movie night with popcorn and snacks. For creative types, plan a weekly craft night and encourage your friends to bring any art projects they’re working on. If you’re into coffee and tea, set a weekly date with a few friends at your favorite coffee shop.
Even if you’re nervous, avoid thinking about what you’ll say in response while someone talks. After they’re done talking, it’s okay to pause for a moment as you think of a good reply. If you’re not sure what to say in response, try asking a question or paraphrasing what they said to make sure you understood them correctly.
Try your best not to compare yourself to people you see on social media, too. Follow accounts that make you feel good about yourself, and if you catch yourself comparing, consider taking a break.
As an introvert, it’s okay to still want alone time sometimes. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, enjoy some solo time by watching your favorite movie and eating a healthy snack. Part of practicing self-care is having compassion for yourself. If it’s taking longer than you expected to make friends, try not to beat yourself up. Making lasting connections takes time and you’re making some very meaningful strides. Try to get in the habit of practicing gratitude! That way, you can stay open to what’s available in your life.
It may help to remember that everyone has experienced rejection at some point, no matter how confident or social. Celebrate the fact that you put yourself out there and keep trying.
A mental health professional can give you extra tools and advice on how to manage your social anxiety symptoms.
